The Shaman
by Wolvenfire86
Summary: The Sun Warriors were people of power, wisdom, and culture. And yet, the most powerful person in their tribe, the spiritual leader of their community, has only regrets.
1. Prelude I

_I am BACK! I didn't die, I have just been overrun with work. Now, I have a college diploma and I am still writing these dumb fan fictions. =P_

_But I am back. And it is good to be back._

_Here is a story I have been wanting to finish for a very long time. I hope you like it. And I hope you take something from it._

_I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender or any characters, locations, ETC._

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**The Shaman**

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**Prelude I - History**

"Good morning class." Mrs. Cheng said coldly.

"Good morning honorable teacher!" Her students parroted.

"We did not finish our lecture yesterday. Probably because _someone_ was asking too many questions…" Mrs. Cheng glared at boy wearing the headband in her class, the boy she _thought_ was Kuzon. "…so now we will have to move extra quickly today. Take out the scrolls from yesterday and pick up where we left off: The Sun Warrior Culture."

The students shuffled out their scrolls. Mrs. Cheng started up again when she was sure everyone was ready.

"The Sun Warriors were a proud people, and the first to ever fire bend. They learned their skills from the Dragons, which are now extinct. The worshipped the sun as a god, as well as the moon. Unlike the barbaric Water Tribe savages, the primitive Sun Warriors were quite educated."

Kuzon filched. He did not like when people talked badly about other cultures.

"The Sun Warriors had a school system, as well as master and apprentice relationships. They had mathematics and could craft metals. They would decorate themselves with gold and head ornaments to show their social status and what caste they were in."

Kuzon raised his hand. Mrs. Cheng sighed.

"Yes Kuzon. What is it now?" Kuzon had only been in her class for two days, yet he was more inquisitive than any of her other students. Mrs. Cheng thought that Earth Kingdom colony people were strange, but hard workers.

"Um…you said a caste system?" Aang asked. His disguise as Kuzon fooled everyone, even the adults in the school. "What kind of caste system?"

"Well…it is a bit complicated." Mrs. Cheng paused, looking for the right words. "Sun Warriors stayed in school till they were thirteen. At the age of fourteen, they were put into 'Trials' to determine their future."

"What Trials?" Kuzon (Aang) asked.

"I'm getting to that Kuzon. Please be quite. The Trials were…how should I put this…the Trials were series of tests that would divide the children into groups. There were six caste levels, each of a different importance and each meaning something different. I've seen you children play a game called….Fortune Seeker, I think?"

On Ji raised her hand. "Future Seeker, ma'am."

"Yes. That one. That game is based off a very serious ritual that the Sun Warrior culture revolved around."

The girls giggled. Future Seeker was an astrology game, of sorts. The kids would ask each other questions and then give a challenge. Depending on how you answered the questions, you would get a different challenge. If you passed the challenge, you be given a title like 'Guide' or 'Protector', something that was related to the mission you accomplished.

"The Sun Warriors Trials were similar, but they were much, much more intense." Mrs. Cheng continued. "The Trials were rites of passage that turned boys into men. It was a powerful ritual that changed a child's life and made then true members of their community."

The students were suddenly interested.

"The first class, lowest on the list but still the most important, were the Farmers. Sun Warriors were actually quite peaceful and they valued Farmers for their hard work, their connection with nature and their ability to create non-human life. They kept everyone's stomach's full.

The second class were the Builders. Anything that needed to be built by human hands…cloth, metals, weapons, buildings, even works of art…they were under the control of the Builders. They also assisted in ceremonies and rituals at certain times of the year.

The third class were the Fighters. Most people who could bend fire would become Fighters. They were not just in charge of warfare. Fighters acted like police officers, as well as symbols of status and strength. When they were not busy, they would often help Farmers with manual labor for a small fee. Those two castes got along very well.

The fourth…" Mrs. Cheng smiled and giggled smugly. "…were Teachers. This is the only caste level that someone could cross over into, after they became older. They were masters of a certain craft or field of thought. They were advisors, controlled schools, even commanded trade routes between tribes. It was their job to sustain culture and keep it alive. Anything learnable was their gift to the community.

And the Fifth were the Chieftains. Highest on the list, they the leaders of the village or tribe. They decided everything, from when a community went to war, to which children got married. Oh, I forgot to mention…the Sun Warriors had a ten year calendar and each year would have an animal to represent it. All children born within a certain year would _have_ to get married to one another. Arranged marriages were also dictated by specific Chieftains."

Mrs. Cheng looked down at Kuzon.

"Is that satisfactory, Kuzon?"

"I have another question…" Aang asked, timidly. Mrs. Cheng rolled her eyes. "…you said that there were six caste levels…but you only named five."

"Um…yes, there is one other caste level. But it was so rare that only it is barely worth remembering."

"What was it?"

"It was called The Shaman. _The_ Shaman, singular. Only one was around at a time. When a Shaman got very old, he would find an apprentice and teach him. That apprentice would become the new Shaman. Then the old would leave the Sun Warrior tribe."

"Wait, wait, what?" Aang was confused. "I don't understand."

"Well, the Shaman was the greatest and most esteemed man in all of the Sun Warrior community. He was a spiritual leader, and a symbol of wisdom and hope. He had influential control over everyone in the village, even the leaders. He was supposedly able to communicate with the spirit world and knew magic. The old Shaman would leave the village when a new one was found so he could…well…so he could die alone. But he would travel to other villages, spread his wisdom to anyone who wanted to listen in his final days."

Aang was still very confused. _But_ he was also interested.

"What kinds of tests did…" Aang could not finish his sentence.

"Kuzon, I believe we have learned enough about the Sun Warriors specifics for one day. We have more to discuss. Moving on…" And Mrs. Cheng continued with her lesson on Fire Nation History.

After class, Aang asked Mrs. Cheng if she knew any more about the Sun Warriors. She yelled at him.

"They are all dead! They don't have anything left to teach us! Focusing on your studies is more important Kuzon!"

But Aang, being who the boy he was, did not want to leave the subject alone. He was seduced by the culture, especially by the mysterious Shaman. It was like the Avatar before the Avatar. One at a time, a symbol of hope, great wisdom and skill. Of course, they were from different eras and different cultures, but they were practically the same, cut from the same cloth.

So, before he left that day, Aang ran to the school's library and looked for anything on the Sun Warriors. He found only a few scrolls and learned few new facts.

He found a few cliff notes. The Sun Warriors got married at the age of fifteen. They were only considered adults if they passed their Trials. Women did not undergo the Trials and, like most cultures, they were seen only as objects to get married off and have children.

Besides that, there was nothing. Nothing that Mrs. Cheng didn't already tell him.

Disappointed, Aang put the scrolls back where they belonged. Ready to give up, he noticed something, one last book, stuffed away at the far end of the book self. It was an old, dusty text, bound instead of rolled, written on bone tablets instead of paper scrolls. It was so old that it looked like the wind could blow it to shreds.

Aang took it out and started coughing. A layer of dust exploded out from it.

"Who is there?" Someone shouted, hearing Aang cough. Nervous, Aang tucked the book under his arm and ran away. "Hey!" A teacher saw him and tried to run after him, but Aang was much too fast.

Aang made it out to the school's playground before stopping. Then he realized that he still had the book under his arm. He didn't mean to take it. It was an accident. Still, the teachers would kill him if he went back. Out of options, he put the book in his backpack and walked away casually.

That night, Aang had his little dance party for the Fire Nation students and forgot all about the strange book.

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**I missed you all! =D**


	2. Prelude II

**Prelude II**

The dance party was a great success! Everyone enjoyed themselves, including Aang. And especially Katara. Sokka…_may_ have enjoyed it. Aang couldn't tell, as Sokka refused to take off his Wang Fire beard.

Appa landed once they were far away from the village and everyone quickly got out their sleeping bags. Routine as always, despite the unusual evening.

Aang, as usual, sat on Appa's back. Shuffling through their supplies, he handed Katara her bag, smiling at her, and _then_ he found his usually spot on Appa's saddle, very ready for a good night's sleep.

"Um…Aang?" He heard Katara's voice.

"Yes!" He leapt up, suddenly finding plenty of energy. He always had enough energy for _her_.

"Is this yours?" Katara handed Aang the aged book he found in the school's library. Aang frowned.

"Uh…yeah. Thanks Katara." He took it from her. Katara smiled and turned away without saying goodbye.

Aang looked at the book. The cover said…

_The Last Memoirs of Kuto-Ma, the Shaman of the Sun Warriors during the Era of the Green Hawk._

…and it looked like it was hundreds of years old.

Aang paused. With all the dancing, he had forgotten about his interest in the Sun Warriors. Everything else had happened so quickly that he forgot that he still had the book.

He remember briefly back when he was at the Southern Air Temple, how he used to read every night to help him sleep. Stories of heroes, text books of philosophy, picture scrolls for fun. He hadn't read for fun since before he was frozen.

Aang peaked over the giant saddle and saw each of his friends going to sleep. He made sure they didn't see him.

Then, delicately, he opened to the ancient text. Dust fell off it and the pages themselves creaked as he turned to the first page and began reading…

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**New chapter tomorrow**


	3. Better Days

**Better Days**

The ink in the book was faded, non existent in some parts. But Aang was able to read most of the inscriptions. Kuto-ma wrote…

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_I have been alive for almost a full century now. I have seen so many things and done more than most people could ever dream. I am a Master. I am a Shaman. I have been blessed with luck, wisdom and power. And, at the same time, I have been cursed by such luck, wisdom and power that others would envy me._

_The doctors in this Fire Nation village said that I am not allowed to walk anymore. They say that I may not live long enough to be brought back home. Ha! Home. I am not allowed to return there, as it is forbidden by the Sun Warriors rites. I have turned my back on the idea of going back to my "home", as well as my people._

_Two nights ago, after the doctors revived me, I denied that I was in pain, even though it felt like my lung were on fire and my limbs were going to fall off. Yesterday morning, the doctors told me what I suspected: I am dying._

_I am told that I have a month to live, maybe less. I will use this time to write my memoirs. Maybe my story can educate people more than my sermons. And maybe…just maybe…Jen-ka will read this text too._

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Sadness grabbed Aang. He remembered when he saw Gyatso dead, buried in the snow and ashes of his home. Aang could not help but wonder how he would die. Would it be after fighting off dozens of fire nation soldiers, or by the hand of the Fire Lord, or from old age and sickness like Kuto-Ma?

Aang tried to ignore those fears and kept reading.

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_My childhood. A good place to start. I was the son of a Builder. My father was a strong man, though not very tall. He worked relentlessly with artists and craftsmen, specializing in creating household items of wood and marble. I remember his hands…they were strong and rough like the heavy tools he owned. His skin was tan from the sun and the gold on his wrists were dulled after decades of working outside._

_I don't remember much about my mother. She got sick after she gave birth to me and was not able to have any more children. She was always quiet, and remained distant. My father was more affectionate then my mother actually. Perhaps she wanted a daughter._

_I was the only child in my small family. My grandparents had all died from the Sleeping Disease. The cousins that I had were all much older than me and most were busy with families of their own_

_We had a peaceful life. I was happy back then. I wish I could say the same now. I'd give anything to get that life back._

_I was born in the year of the Red Dragon, which was considered to be very lucky. More irony. The stars say that the Red Dragon was a year of good health and beautiful girls. Well…I supposed that that was true. The other children of my year were active and energetic, as was I._

_It was called a foul omen when a woman in our tribe survives child labor but is unable to conceive another child. Because of that, I did not get the best treatment from my peers. The other boys would beat me now and then. The girls would not play games with me._

_At that time, there was only one child in the tribe that I could call my friend. And thankfully, it __**was **__a girl._

_Jen-ka. I miss her more than anyone else. Both of us were born in the same week, another sign of good luck. Her named was Jen. 'Ka' was the suffix of her mother's name. Normally, the women in our civilization were given an individual name (Jen) and then would have her father's family name attached to it. When those girls got married, they would change their last name to their husband's suffix._

_But Jen-Ka had no father. Her mother, Ka-Rou, was unmarried. So she gave Jen her own name as a suffix instead. This made the villagers even more uneasy around her._

_When Ka-Rou was young, a traveling Water Tribe fleet passed by our home, traveling to the Western Air Temple on a pilgrimage of some kind. They taught us "The Art of Swimming" and gave us rare furs in exchange for a weeks stay in our village. One of the men found Jen-Ka's mother. Nine months later, Jen-ka was born and the Water Tribe man was far away._

_Jen-ka had the eyes of a Water Tribe girl, big and blue like the ocean. Her hair was brown like her father, the man who abandoned her. Her hair was curly…I remember that because she always had trouble tying a ponytail. Sun Warrior girls always had straight hair, even if it was thick. Her skin was copper and never changed shade, no matter how much or how little sun hit her body. She looked a lot more Water Tribe than Sun Warrior._

_Jen-ka couldn't learn the fire bending arts. She was trapped between the sun and the moon. Her weakness may have been the reason she followed me around so much. Perhaps she liked me for having fire bending talent, even if I always was a novice. Maybe she was a bit envious. Maybe she sympathized with me._

_We were very close; she played with me for hours when we were young. Once, we spied on my father as he built a stone table for a Chieftain. Another time, we crept away from the village boundaries and explored the jungle that we were forbidden to go near._

_It was nice to have a female friend at the age of six. And at eight. And at ten. But the age of ten was when the tribe's leaders paired off each boy and girl. They gave us five years in advance to get to know our future spouses, and to see if any other prospects came to our doors. The Elders had also noticed how well me and Jen-ka got along. A week after my tenth birthday, an offertory letter came from Jen-ka's mother, saying that she would give her daughter to me when I turned fifteen and completed my Trials._

_My father had little prestigious in the village and I received no other offers for marriage. He accepted for me. I remember being so scared._

_Jen-ka liked the idea for a while. She would give me a kiss every now and then. Our usual adventure games turned into fake marriages and moments where I would rescue her from imaginary monsters. But when she turned twelve, she started getting into bad moods easily. Then she started avoiding me. Sometimes I would see her with other boys. Sometimes she yelled at me, and ordered me to "Stop following" her all the time._

_I had other friends by then. A few. but none were as wonderful as Jen-ka, my future bride._


	4. Mood Swings

**Mood Swings**

Aang was hypnotized by the book. He read the whole first chapter without stopping. The book sucked him in like a whirlpool pulls in a passing boat.

_When I turned fourteen my father warned me that my Trials would begin sooner than I thought. I would have to be tested as a farmer, then as a builder, then as a fighter, and so on and so on, until I found my place in the tribe. For every challenge I failed, the Chieftains would noticed. As would the Shaman at that time, Heka-Ma._

_Heka-Ma was an old man, with endless respect and prestige. People would lower their heads when he passed by. While the Chieftains would ultimately decide what jobs each people undergoing the trials would have, Heka-Ma's influence was very powerful and he could change certain things in the Trials._

_The majority of teenagers get the jobs their fathers had, so my father helped prepare me to pass the Builder's Trial, as he expected me to take up the family business with him._

_The trials began in autumn, ending on the day of the autumn equinox. The week up until then was called The Autumn Setting. That week, there would be two days of rest, followed by five days of rigorous challenges._

_The night before the First Day of Autumn Setting, I visited Jen-ka's house to try and leave a good impressions. And maybe receive a good luck kiss from my future bride. I hadn't given up on winning her heart._

_I remember knocking on her door and having her mother, Ka-Rou, answer._

"_Oh! Kuto. How nice of you to visit." She called me Kuto. I had not yet earned a last name yet._

"_May I see Jen-ka please?" I said with a flower in my hand._

"_Oh, you are so sweet. You will make a fine husband for my girl." Ka-Rou smiled, hiding her shame. She knew that I was her daughter's last resort. "But she is not here right now."_

"_But…the sun is down already. Where is she?"_

"_She said that she had something very important to take care of. Something about helping the elders with preparations for the Trails. Good luck tomorrow. I am sure you will make a fine Builder and work alongside your father for many years." Her smile was fake._

"_Thank you ma'am." I bowed. "I will see you soon, I hope." And then I left._

_Jen-ka was not helping the elders. I knew her better than that._

_I crept outside of the tall stone walls that lined the village boarder, There was a small hole in then massive walls that me and Jen-ka discovered when we were children. Hiding amongst the shadows, I ran through the jungle wilderness. I had gone through the jungle a thousand times by now and I knew where to go._

_About half a mile into the thick brush, I heard splashing. Jen-ka was swimming. She loved swimming more than breathing. Like her eyes and hair, her runaway father had given her a love for moving through the water._

_The swimming hole was rarely used by our tribe anymore. It was once a good fishing spot, but all of the fish had been caught after a few hundred years of being over-used. There were some old stone walls around it, most of them crumbling and covered with moss. I walk on them, and leaned on a stone wall and watched her climb out of the water. She tugged on her curly hair, ringing the water out. She was in her white loin cloths. She was so beautiful._

_She didn't know I was watching her. I hope she knew that I thought she was beautiful. I wish I could tell her now._

_She walked by me, still not seeing me._

"_Hi." I said._

"_AH!" She jumped and her voice echoed through the hallow trees._

"_Sorry…" I giggled, "…I didn't mean to scare you."_

"_You again." She grunted and went back to cleaning her long hair. "I thought I told you to stop stalking me."_

"_I wasn't stalking you. I just wanted to see you. We never see each other any more."_

"_Uh-huh." She rolled her head around her shoulders, stretching. "Just because we are engaged, doesn't mean I have to like you."_

"_It wouldn't hurt." I smirked and leaned closer to her. "It would…probably be a good thing if you liked me a little."_

"_Oh please. Don't give me that again." She looked away from me. At the time, I couldn't tell if she was playing hard to get or if she was just being mean to me. Now that I look back on it, I think that she was ashamed that I was the only one she __**could **__marry. No one else would take her. I think it made her feel…less human._

"_Tah-tu." I called her 'Wife'._

_She turned her head quickly and yelled, "Don't call me that!" Another echo through the jungle_

_Then I reached down and touched her curly hair. I pulled out a bit of a plant that had gotten caught in her curls._

"_You missed this." I said, still grinning. What a look she gave me. Her cheeks flushed when our eyes met. Maybe she __**did **__have feelings for me back then and just hated showing them._

_A cricket chirped a few times and then her angry face came back. She walked away and got her clothes._

"_Don't follow me around so much." She barked._

_I was very confused. I really didn't understand girls back then._

Aang looked over at Katara, who was sound asleep. He too had a Water Tribe girl that he couldn't understand.


	5. Trials Begin

**The Trials Begin**

Still sucked in, Aang turned the page and kept reading.

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_The first day of the Trials began with a thunderous roar from the dragons that lived in the mountains near our village. They were extraordinary. No matter how many times I saw them, they always astonished me._

_The flock of dragons flew away towards the rising sun. They migrated just before the fall equinox, to avoid cold weather. It was no coincidence that our Trials began just as the mighty guardians of our village went away._

_Heka-Ma stood silently over the large group of young people and watched us with hauntingly cold eyes. People tried not to look at him directly. I did that day. When I did, I remember feeling very cold and weaker in my knees._

_Rumors about him were wild. Some people said that he had the power to see into the future. Others said that he could read your soul with just a glance. I once heard that he could put a man to sleep with his hands._

_Heka-ma waited for the tribe elders to arrive, which they did, eventually, in droves. "Elders" did not mean "old people". It meant exalted Chieftains and Teachers that were considered the best-of-the-best. They were Masters, men of real accomplishment._

_I was placed in a random row in a crowd of at least a hundred boys my age. Most of us hadn't even started growing yet. They split us up into grouped according to size, to make the competition even. _

_The Elders said a few encouraging words and convinced us all that we were about to embark on a serious moment in our lives. Then he ordered us to break away into smaller groups, depending on what season we were born in._

_I was in the group with the fewest number, those born in winter. Most Sun Warriors are born in summer, which is considered to be luckiest. Good fortune was in our tribes' mind at all times._

_The Trails of the Farmer were carefully timed to be when the harvest needed to be taken in. The adults, who had done work for the rest of the year, were given a day off. We, those trying to become adults, did everything. And I do mean __**everything.**__ We sheered the pig-sheep, the wheat, the rice stalks, the corn, cleaned up after the animals, carried in barrels of dirt, with only our hands and the tools that were given to us._

_In the meantime, the Elders would walk beside us, carefully studying us like we were animals. Every now and then, they ask us questions like "What is the most beautiful thing in the world?", or "What is the key to letting things grow?"_

_I was asked both of those questions, but it was hard to think. I was covered in sweat within the first hour of heavy labor. I didn't think I was going to survive after the second hour. I remember seeing the Elders smile at me when I answered their questions, but I can't remember what I said._

_Jan-Ka watched me with angry eyes from afar. I smiled at her once and she looked away._

_I worked along side my peers for six grueling hours, with only two ten minute breaks and a small lunch. My body burned like fire when it was all over. Most of my peers were hunched over and panting when we were asked to gather back in front of the Elders. The only ones who were not exhausted were the sons of farmers or the sons of great warriors._

"_You have all preformed well!" The Tribe leader said. I forget his name, as the poor man did not live long after that day. "You have all earned a good night's rest."_

_Everyone hobbled back to their families. Our mothers greeted us with bread and open arms and our fathers patted out backs with a soft laugh._

_The boys all went to the bath house and rested. Groups of friends bunched together and bragged to each other. My small circle of friends asked if they thought I was going to pass the trial tomorrow. I told them I didn't know. I had never been to exhausted in my life_.

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The page suddenly scribbled. A few blots of ink dabbed across the page, out of place.

* * *

_I feel my health failing faster than I had thought it would. Death is not walking to me, it is running._

_I should probably continue with the story._


	6. Wifely Duties

**Wifely Duties**

_That night, my family gave me all the meat I could eat. They said it would make me strong. I ate so much that I thought I would burst._

_After dinner, Ka-Rou and Jen-Ka came to visit. Women did not participate in the Trials, so they were educated during the week of Autumn Setting. How to cook, to be gentle, etiquette. And other "wifely" things. I remember Jen-Ka looking at me that night with more anger than ever before. _

_It think she was mad at everyone, but she __**wanted**__ to blame me._

_We had tea together. Ka-Rou asked how my Trials went, if I passed, how our business was doing. Regular small talk, that's all. She mentioned that Jen-Ka was fourteen, for some reason. All of us, including me and Jen-Ka, knew already._

_Then, without any warning, the adults left the house. They just got up and left for a walk. Jan-Ka and I were alone._

"_Um…" Before I could speak, she yelled at me._

"_You're so stupid!"_

"_What did I do now?"_

"_I don't want to do this." She crossed her arms._

"_Do what? Marry me?"_

"_Yeah that. __**And **__this!"_

"_Do what?"_

"_This!"_

"_What are you…"_

_I thought for a second. Then quickly figured out why our parents had left us alone. Ken-Ja was taught __**everything**__ that a wife was expect to do for her husband. I am pretty sure that I blushed._

"_Jen-Ka. We don't…I mean, there's no rule or anything. We don't __**have**__ to do this."_

"_They sure made it sound that way. They think we're supposed to be in love or something. God, I can't stand you. You're too skinny."_

"_I'm skinny?" I looked at my arms. They really thin, like a young boy's arms._

"_Just don't touch me. I don't want to talk to anyone tonight, especially not you." She turned her head. Her eyes were as narrow as an angry bird._

_I opened my mouth ready to say something, but I didn't. I wanted to tell her that I'd never hurt her and that I was scared to even lay a finger on her smooth skin._

_I really __**did**__ love her. I still do. Decades later, I still love her._

_Not knowing what else to say, I stood up and left her. I went to my room. Then I heard her whimper and start crying, but I did nothing. I was scared._

_I sat down on my bed, which was a collection of skins and wool. I didn't know what was wrong with her. I believed in the customs I was taught, though I was no extremist. I knew things were the way they were and because of that I was going to be married to a girl I loved. I just wanted her to happy with me._

_I stayed in my room for a while before remembering that all of the candles in my home were still lit. With only the intention of blowing them out, I left my room. Before I could make it to the kitchen, Jen-Ka found me and gave me a look that would break the heart of any man._

_She was done crying, but she looked so confused._

"_Jen-Ka." That's all I could say._

_The next thing I know, she was on top of me, covering me with the scent of her beautiful hair. What happened next was a bit of a blur. I remember the taste of girl sweat, the surprisingly cold prick of her flesh, and then lots and lots of heat. And after months of her yelling at me, she was the one to make the first move. It was impulsive and stupid and immature, but it happened! For one night, she was with me and it wasn't against the rules._

_She was most likely pressured into doing it. Or maybe she just needed someone to be with her. Her life hadn't been an easy one._

_After it was over, she pushed me to the side and tried to ignore me._

"_Jen-Ka…" I touched her hair and she flinched. "Jen-Ka, please. Don't do that."_

_She whimpered again. Then rolled over and grabbed me tightly._

"_Thank you…for being here." She grabbed he so tightly that it hurt. I didn't mind._


	7. The Shaman Foretells the Future

**The Shaman Foretells the Future**

**

* * *

**

Aang gulped, a little embarrassed after reading the last chapter. He thought love was supposed to be simple and innocent, not confusing and…decadent.

But he hadn't stopped reading yet. He wanted to know what happened next.

* * *

_The next morning was horribly awkward. We didn't look at each other until we were fully dressed. Our parents were __**still**__ not in the house, so we parted ways without saying anything or asking questions. It was terrible, so terrible._

_I didn't realize it until Jen-Ka was long out of my sights, but my muscles were incredibly sore, worse than they had ever been. I didn't know how I was going to continue with my Trials, especially since the Trials of the Builder were that day._

_I met in the center of town and gathered with my group of boys. I saw Heka-Ma staring at me again and I felt that same numbing sensation. It made the soreness subside though._

_The Chieftain raised his staff above his head and ordered us to disperse. We meet with master Builders and they told us that we had to create something. That was it. They pointed us in the direction of some tools and materials (which were excess supplies that were not used through out the year) and they left us to out work._

_I made a chair. My father had taught me exactly how to do it. The Elders were impressed and smiled at me. I sat down it in for them and it didn't break, so I think I passed. But I will never know._

_Just as the Elders were about to congratulate me, they froze and lowered their heads. Heka-Ma walked behind them, lurching towards me. I lowered my head too, scared of him._

"_Look at me." He ordered. His voice echoed, like an empty cave._

_I looked up. The blue face paint under his eyes and the two gold piercings on his lower lip made him look like a dragon. His head decoration was grand, tall as a small boy, and his earrings hung lower than his chin. He had a gold collar, arm bands, and a thin shawl hanging off his shoulders that covered the edges of his round belly. Sun Warrior decorum showed our status in the tribe, and Heka-Ma had __**very**__ high status._

"_Stand up." He said. His skin was rough as old stone and his frown was stern like a grumpy tortoise. I still felt his shadow loom over me. "What is your name?"_

"_K-Kuto, sir." I trembled. That strange feeling was still crawling over my skin._

"_Your father is a Builder, yes?"_

"_Yes sir."_

"_LOOK ME IN THE EYES!" He shouted and I straightened up. "Do you want to be a Builder?"_

"_I…yes sir."_

"_Do you?" He asked again._

"_It would be an honor to take up my family's business. Sir."_

"_Yes, yes. I have heard that one before. But is it what __**you **__want?"_

"_I…I…"_

"_Say what it is you want boy."_

_Somehow, when I looked into his eyes a second time, I felt calmer, like Heka-Ma had reached up into a storm cloud and suddenly made a blue sky. "Magic", that's what everyone called him._

"_I…want my…future wife to be happy sir."_

"_That is a good wish son." He smiled. I had never seen him smile. "I'll be watching you." He pointed at me. Then he turned to the Elders. "Know this! This week will end in great celebration. This week will have much rejoicing and much disappointment. But everything that happens amongst these young children will happen for a reason. It is only through mistakes and imperfections that they will be able to transforms themselves into adults. And it is only through stepping back and allowing them to make mistakes that we, as adults, can help them."_

"_Praise!" They all shouted._

"_Uh, praise." I said softly after the crowd had said it._

"_Here me now! A great thing will happen this year. A great thing will befall this generation. Young people think that greatness is given. These people will learn that greatness is earned. They will see. And we will show them!"_

_

* * *

_

_The next day was the Trails of the Warriors. It was a fighting tournament. Every young man in the village had to wrestle the other to the ground. After half of the crowd was eliminated, punching and kicking was allowed. After one fourth remained, __**real**__ accomplished warriors came into the ring and beat the young boys until they were black and blue, to test their endurance. The boys who were still standing after all of that were High Warriors, and were destined to become Captains._

_I didn't make it past the first round. Jen-Ka was right; my arms were too skinny._

_I was so ashamed that night. The boys who had picked on me and beat me up proved, in front of the whole tribe, that they could attack me whenever they wanted and get away with it. I didn't speak to my parents that night, but they tried to speak to me._

"_You did good son." My father said. "And you're still young. You can still grow up to be very strong."_

"_You'll make a fine Builder anyway." My mother smiled, but I didn't. "Um…Jen-Ka was here earlier."_

"_She was?" I straightened up when I heard her say that._

"_Yes. She said she was going to help the Elders with preparations again and that you should go with her before the suns sets."_

"_Thanks mother!." I jumped up and ran away before finishing my dinner. I felt them shake their heads and heard them laugh._

_I ran to the jungle and found the swimming hole. Jen-ka was there, in her thin white garments. She was smiling at me. Me! She was actually happy to see me!_

"_Come in." She splashed me._

"_I can't swim!" He dodged the water._

"_It only reaches up to your waist." I saw that she was standing. I threw of most of my clothes off and ran in. I wasn't thinking straight. For the longest time, all I wanted was to see her happy._

"_What happened today?" She grabbed my hand and I froze. She lowered herself into the water till the waves were up to her neck. I lowered down with her._

"_I…lost the tournament." I wasn't ashamed anymore._

"_That sucks." She giggled and grabbed my arm. "Your arms are so well toned though. How did you lose?" She squeezed my very tiny bicep. Suddenly, I felt like the strongest man in the world._

_Not thinking, I kissed her. She smiled and kissed me back. We stayed in the water for hours, giggling and touching each other, foolishly flirting._

_I felt such a strange wave of emotions. At the time, I thought I was head-over-heels in love. Now I know it was a mix of lust, joy and shyness. But I got my best friend back. That was much more important to me._


	8. The Moon I

**The Moon - I  
**

"Aang!" A voice called to him in his dream. Aang was dressed in Sun Warrior garments, decorated in gold and cotton. "Aang, you must get up." He was swimming in a green pool, in a jungle. Katara was there, giggling at him. Then…CANONBALL!

"Twinkletoes! Wake up!"

Aang's eyes opened fast when he felt Toph kick him. "OW!" He groaned.

"Toph, that was too harsh." Katara said.

"Hey. Got the job done." Toph said, then cleaned out her ear with her pinky finger.

"Aang, you overslept." Katara helped him up.

"I did?" He rubbed his bald head. He had a headache.

"Yeah, but don't sweat it Airhead." Toph spat. "We're not really doing anything today. Sokka split for now. He'll back in like a few hours." Toph jumped off Appa and walked around the camp site.

"What's that?" Katara asked. She pointed to the old book by Aang's side.

"That? Oh, that's nothing. Don't worry." Aang didn't know why he was embarrassed.

"It looks like a book."

"It is. It is. It's nothing."

"What is it?"

"It's just a biography."

"Can I look at it.?" Katara asked, smiling. Aang hesitated.

"Um…well…o…kay. I guess."

Katara picked up the book and turned to the page Aang was on. She skimmed through the words, not really appreciating the novel.

"This book is ancient. I've never even heard of the Sun Warriors."

"I think it's interesting. I was up all night enjoying it."

"Wow. Must be good." She sat down next to him. "Mind if I read it with you?"

"N-n-no. That's fine." Aang's cheeks flushed.

"Great." She leaned on his shoulder, letting her wavy hair fall over his arm. Aang felt like he had just leapt over a mountain. "Where did you leave off?"

"Right…um…right here." Aang pointed to the start of the next page and read.

"Can you…read it to me Aang?" Katara asked. She was flirting, and she knew it. The excessive dancing the night before made her look at Aang in a different light.

"Sure Katara." Aang felt proud of himself.

* * *

_Jen-Ka cheered for me during the trials now. It was a little embarrassing, but I like it. The Trials of Wisdom began with the wisest teachers hand picking us one by one, asking us strange riddles and math problems. We separated into many groups and different Masters quizzed us._

_My group went to the irrigation system. We were asked questions about the changing seasons, problems regarding drought and floods. I felt ashamed for not knowing most of the answers._

_The Master that guided us was named Fui-Han. He was a tal, gangly man with red paint on his thin chest. He pointed to me and asked me a riddle. I never forgot that riddle, as it took me decades to figure out its answer._

_Fui-Han asked me, "If the moon and the sun cannot be together at the same time, tell me…what does the sun do when the moon is in the night sky?"_

_Not knowing much about astrology, I said "It sleeps. It waits for its turn to do work."_

_Fui-Han smiled at me and said, "Good answer."_

_I was wrong._

_Jen-Ka was there for me after I passed my trial. In my life, I have seen tall towers, dragons fighting each other and even the Gods erupt volcanoes, but none of that was as surprising as hearing Jen-Ka offer to cook dinner for me._

_Our parents were out of the house again. Jen-Ka and I felt married already. It was a strange feeling. I don't know if I liked it. So I tried talking to her like we were still just friends. That felt much better. We stayed up for many hours, eating cooked meat._

_Jen-Ka kissed me before leaving. She had eaten green peppers. I remember that her lips were spicy._


	9. Decree from the Sun

**Decree From The Sun**

"Ahhh." Katara cooed. "That's romantic."

"Yeah. It is." Aang gulped. Daringly, he put his hand over Katara's shoulder. She looked at his arm, then smiled. Aang felt his heart jump.

* * *

_When we were kids, the retired Elders would tell us stories around the bon fires during the summer. Some were of ghosts, some of romance, many were of adventure , but all had a deeper meaning. The ghost stories were told to make sure we didn't go off into the jungle by ourselves. The romance was to make the girls blush. The adventure stories were to tease us and make us wish that we were something more than ordinary._

_My life…I have been blessed with great wealth and great fortune. I have seen sights that most people would be incapable of dreaming. I have seen the ocean, the mountains and the cruelest villains repent and become priests. But every night, when I am alone in bed, I think of the summer's I spent in front of a camp fire, hearing stories from of 'what ifs' instead of knowing 'what is'. _

_Regardless of all my wealth, I still think I was happier and luckier when I was one of the kids listening to the stories instead of being the man telling them._

_Those adventure stories were like old scars. Ugly, deformed, easily to show off and, but also bad for me. Adventure stories tend to make you unhappy with reality and forget about what you have right in front of your eyes._

_The point is that despite all that I am a great man, the kind that I once envied, I now look at the ordinary person and envy them._

_The last Trial was of the Chieftains. I had expected to fail. I had Jen-Ka waiting for me by the side lines and my parents standing besides her smiling. I had a bright future in my father's craft, a soon-to-be wife who loved me and my youth. I was stupid. Those stories around the bon fires tried to teach us that good luck can never last. I didn't listen. Why, why didn't I listen?_

_The Tribe Leaders came out and asked us each a question about morality. If you got it "right", meaning that your answer was in the best interest of the tribal customs, you got to move on. A wrong answer was instant disqualification._

_I was dead last in the questioning. In the first round, one Chieftain asked me a question._

"_What is more important? Feeding seven people a meal of beef, knowing that they will starve the next day, or feeding one king for seven days straight, who will not go hungry for one week if the peasants are denied their dead cow?"_

_I answered without thinking. "Wouldn't it be better to milk the cow and give everyone a little of something? If you feed the king, the average people die. If you feed the average people, the king gets angry. But either way, the cow is doomed."_

_I don't know where that came from. Honestly, it just popped into my head. I proceeded into the next level._

"_If a dragon attacks a boy and kills him, should his father seek revenge and kill the dragon?" I remember that question._

"_Well…if that happens, then other dragons will come to avenge their son's death. You can't win. Maybe…you could find out what the boy, or the village, did to instigate the dragon? They don't attack randomly. People don't attack randomly either."_

_They were impressed._

_I stayed in the game for a long time. I watched the sun move across the sky and saw my shadow shrink and grow again._

_My parents looked worried. A Chieftain was a job of higher prestige, but they didn't know what would happen to my father if he didn't have a younger person to help around the house. He was getting older and years of hard labor were catching up to him._

_I stayed in the contest until the very end, when there were only three others left besides myself. I didn't know what was going on by then. I was thirsty and tired. I could barely hear anyone talk._

_I spaced out for a minute. When my mind came back into focus, the other three people had failed. I was the last person left. And Heka-Ma stood in front of me, ready to ask me my last question. I didn't freeze up this time, but my head was spinning, not fully aware what was happening. It was almost like my lips were moving by themselves._

"_Answer wisely young man." He said. His voice was piercing as a spear._

"_What is the question?" I asked._

_He sighed. "What is inner peace?"_

"_Are you asking how to get inner peace? Or what inner peace really is?"_

"_What __**is **__inner peace?" He asked louder. His voice was piercing as a spear._

"_Inner peace is…having peace inside yourself." I felt nauseous. "And because everything that you are is __**in**__ your own body, that means that inner peace is being at peace with yourself. With who you are. And…and…um…that means that you have to accept yourself for who your really are, rather than complain about it."_

_Heka-Ma's face changed so suddenly. It was eerie. He looked surprised and a little happy. The jagged edges of his wrinkled skin disappeared for a second and he smiled._

"_Yes. Inner peace if accepting yourself." His smile turned into a grin, then back to a grim frown. "At least, that is what it is at first. When you get started."_

_The head of the Tribe approached the people and started to give a speech about the success the Tribe's young people, but Heka-Ma stopped him._

"_Be silent!" He yelled. His voice thundered between the mountains. Everyone trembled, including myself. "I told you that something amazing would happen this year. And that prophecy has come true."_

_Then he started coughing. He sounded like his lungs were going to explode. Quickly, he regained his looming posture and continued._

"_I said there would be great celebration, great success and great disappointments. The Spirits have granted us a wonderful young man…" He pointed to me, "…who has shown he has a good heart and a noble spirit. He is ready."_

_Everyone started whispering amongst each other._

_Heka-Ma slowly removed his headpiece. Everyone gasped. My eyes widened. I felt terrified. He slowly walked over to me, holding his massive ornament._

"_Kneel." He ordered._

"_S-sir…"_

"_KNEEL!" He bellowed. I fell to the ground, bowing on all fours. I heard him sigh. "On one knee boy."_

_I slowly got back up. I didn't look at him. I just felt him place the headpiece on me._

"_My time is about to pass! Soon, it will be time for a new Shaman to guide this tribe!" He yelled to the audience, who watched in silence. "Stand up and face your tribe boy." He said to me. Shaking, I stood up and looked at the hundreds of people looking at me. I saw Jen-Ka, her eyes stretched in disbelief._

"_All hail Kuto! The new Shaman!" One of the Elders shouted._

"_Kuto-Ma! Kuto-Ma! Kuto-Ma!" Everyone chanted, then they got down and bowed to me. Me. The boy with the thin arms._

_My parents bowed to me. So did Jen-Ka._


	10. Loveless

**Loveless**

_Things started to move very quickly. I was pulled away from my family that very night and forced to stay up without sleeping while the Elders prayed for me. Or __**to**__ me. I am not sure which._

_They took me into the inner sanctum of our stone pyramids, a place that could only be visited by people who were hand chosen by Shamans. It was a place of ritual and training. I remember seeing statues of men, practicing the Dancing Dragon, and a pedestal with a gold egg in the center of the room._

_The Elders chanted around me in a circle while I stood in the center of them. I didn't speak._

_They started to light sticks on fire that puffed out dense clouds of smoke. I breathed it in and started to feel strange. The more I breathed, the harder it was to focus. Eventually, I started to see things. Things that could not have been real, like a bird that was on fire but somehow was not burning. I saw rain clouds inside the pyramid and swore that I felt water fall on my face._

_Then everything went black and I had a vision! One that would haunt me for years, just like that damn riddle._

_That night I had a dream of a man climbing a mountain, in hopes of reaching the sun. At the base of the mountain was the moon. The more the man climbed, the farther away the moon went. When he finally reached the top of the mountain, he touched the sun…but he burned his hand. He looked back down and saw that the moon had vanished._

_

* * *

_

_I woke up the next day, late in the afternoon. My head felt like jagged stones were grinding inside them. The pyramid was empty and all of the priests had gone away. I could hear birds chirping from outside of the temple, and the sounds of the villagers moving around. The top of the pyramid has an open space and light shined down onto me._

"_What did you see?" A voice asked me. I looked around. Heka-Ma was sitting cross-legged in one corner. Several pots and plates were by his side and smoke was coming from burning incense. We were alone._

"_What happened?" I asked._

"_You received a message from the Spirits. Sit over here boy. Tell me, what did you see?" He unfolded a brown skin mat and sprawled it out in front of him. Clumsily, I wobbled over to him and sat down. "Don't worry. The drug will wear off in a few moments."_

_His face was softer, not as threatening as he did before. He looked old. He looked tired._

_I told him of my dream and he nodded as he listened. _

"_What does it mean?" I asked._

"_I don't know. It took me decades to find out what my vision meant. You'll have to spend the rest of your life figuring out your own fate." I felt like arguing, but I was still very groggy._

"_Why…" I reached above my head. The Shaman's head ornament was still tied in my hair._

"_Why did I choose you?"_

"_Yeah. Why?" I shook my head and blinked. The drug kept acting up. It felt like someone was kicking the back of my head. I heard Heka-Ma sigh and watched him shake his head. He moved his hands over a few cups, eventually handing me one with a brown liquid in it._

"_Drink. It will clear your head." I sipped it. It tasted horrible, but in seconds I felt right as rain. "Now, you want to know why I chose a skinny little nobody who couldn't even find a decent bride to marry?"_

"_Please, don't talk about Jen-ka that way." I said. I wasn't scared of him anymore._

"_Jen-ka. That is her name then?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Is she pretty?"_

"_Well…yes."_

"_And you still…care about her, yes?"_

"_Of course I do. I am going to marry her."_

_Heka-ma's face turned grim again. "I…chose you. That is all you need to know. Sometimes there is no reason for being pick or being left behind. Did you chose to be born with an unlucky omen from your mother?"_

"_How did you know…"_

"_I know much more than you could imagine young one. And over the next year, you will learn those things too."_

"_A year?" I scratched my head. "But…I am going to be married in a few months."_

"_Son…I am a very old man. I am not married. Do you think I could not get a wife?" He inhaled deeply, like he was sad. "The Shaman cannot have a bride."_

"_What?" I raised my voice and it echoed over the pyramid. "What do you mean?"_

"_The Shaman cannot be married. It is against the rules."_

"_But…the Shaman is the most powerful man in the tribe. He __**makes**__ the rules."_

"_No. The Chieftains do that. The Shaman does not change the rules. He is…" Heka-ma coughed loudly. "…the Shaman has a great responsibility. He is the man of wisdom and inspiration to the tribe. He gives people hope and shares stories, preserver the culture and be more than just a man in the eyes of his tribesmen. It is an enormous sacrifice. I am sorry that I picked you son." He coughed again. "But I am old. I need to have…someone…to replace me. You did very well in your Trials. You are the best choice."_

_I was so scared that I couldn't think. I didn't want it, any of it. I just wanted my family and Jen-ka to be there. I wanted to leave. I don't know why I didn't. Why don't people leave when they don't wan too? What prevents us from listening to our inner voices? I believed in my culture. Today, I feel so stupid for doing so. There was nothing keeping me from leaving that pyramid right then and there. But I stayed. It was my fault._

"_Kuto…" Heka-ma continued, "…I am sorry that this…burden has fallen on your shoulders. But as Shaman, you can make sure that your family is taken care of. And Jen-ka. And you can use your power to really help people. The Chieftains will listen to you because the village will love you. Please…don't be mad at me."_

_And I honestly wasn't mad at him. I was scared and upset, but not mad. It wasn't his fault. He might have been the biggest cog in the Sun Warrior machine, but he was still just a cog. He had to move with the society._

"_No, no, no. This isn't right! I love Jen-ka! I want to marry her!"_

"_I'm sorry, but you cannot. Not anymore." Heka-ma said._

"_Then I refuse. I don't want to be Shaman."_

"_You can't leave either. There is a…very step penalty. You and your family will be banished."_

"_What? That is ridiculous! It's unfair!"_

"_I agree, but…Kuto, you have such a wonderful chance to help people. You can help everyone."_

"_But what about what __**I**__ want?"_

"_What you want…" Heka-ma looked away, "…does not matter anymore. What matters is the tribe. What matters is the people. I am…truly sorry Kuto. For all of this."_

_I still, to this day, don't blame him. I don't know who to blame. Some days I blame myself. Some days I blame the Gods._


End file.
